they're coming for me

I really need to work on the money management thing.

Actually, that's not entirely true. I needed to work on the money management thing a few years ago. My ostrich theory didn't work out too well. Y'know, don't open the bills and they'll go away? They don't. I have 97 billion dollars in credit card debt, 3/4 of which is finance charges, late fees, overlimit charges, etc.

Okay, so I don't really have 97 billion. But it feels like it. I'm probably on a WANTED poster at Citibank.

I'm plugging along, though, paying about 4-500 a month and watching half of it get eaten by more fees. But the other half is starting to make a dent. It feels good, even though I consistently reach the end of the month with about $5 to my name. I spent the last three years trying to decide which bills I could afford to pay every month. It's nice to not be in that place anymore.

It's humbling, though. I fully realize that, if I were not married, I would have to live at home with my parents. Zach's (much higher) salary pays rent and utilities and car insurance and such. I pay for my credit cards, car payment, cell phone, and student loan. And prescriptions, which run me around $50/monthly with insurance And usually groceries, but only because I'm the one who does most of the shopping. He helps if I ask.

I have a wonderful reward coming when I finally get these bills paid off: I get to go to graduate school.

Well, I get to apply to graduate school. Someone has to accept me before I can actually go. But still.

I am itching to go to grad school. I would start sneaking into classes if I could. I want to read and research until my eyes cross. I want to spout inane psychological bullshit and live in my ivory tower. I want to be Doctor Emma.

I dangle that little carrot in front of myself. So far, it's working. I still cringe when I send a third of my paycheck to the credit card demons every month, but at least now it seems like it's for a good cause. My credit rating is beyond help - I might as well get *something* good out of the deal.

Kids, listen to the old and wise one. Do not get that first credit card. It hates you. It will eat your spleen. It will prop your eyelids open with toothpicks and make you watch old naked grannies dancing around. It will switch your salt and sugar and cause you to crave rutabaga. It will bring you a Mexican sewer rat and tell you it's a puppy.

You get the idea.

~Emma~

Reading: "Blink"

Hearing: "Stockton Gala Days" by 10,000 Maniacs

Wishing: That TWOP would post the American Idol recap already.

--->Comment allez-vous?<---

earlier later

break this - Tuesday, Mar. 01, 2005

long time no post - Monday, Feb. 28, 2005

give me a little credit - Thursday, Nov. 18, 2004

blink-free - Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004

end of days - Thursday, Oct. 14, 2004

Clix me! (Pretty please?)