he found me

He found me. Mark found me. I don't know how but he did.

I do know. I was stupid enough to use my usual SN as my name at Amazon.com. I didn't think that the one person on the planet that I don't want to find me would find it.

It's been six years. He should have forgotten about me by now.

I feel like I'm going to be sick. And my fucked-up sense of curiousity makes me want to respond. Add him to my friends list so he can see my email address. Just see what he does.

I want to rub it in his face. He thought I needed him. Well, where the fuck was he when I really DID need him? When I was throwing up my guts on a regular basis and carving holes in my legs? When I dropped out of school because I was in the damn hospital? I called him when Faith had her first seizure. Where the fuck was he when she tried to kill herself?

This man gave me my first broken heart and my first exposure to just how truly twisted people can be.

I have to go dry my hair and take my cat to the vet and pretend everything is normal.

I added him to friends. I have to know.

Fuck him.

~Em

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earlier later

break this - Tuesday, Mar. 01, 2005

long time no post - Monday, Feb. 28, 2005

give me a little credit - Thursday, Nov. 18, 2004

blink-free - Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004

end of days - Thursday, Oct. 14, 2004

Clix me! (Pretty please?)