visit to that place

Just checking in b/c I'm supposed to be going to sleep soon. :-) I am feeling a bit better; this is pretty much just going to be one of those slumps, and I'll cycle out of it eventually.

I keep panicking about panicking. Does that make any sense? It's almost like a flash back - I remember words or sounds or sensations from that night, and the fear starts to come over me again. It's not nearly as strong, and it does go away. Still, I understand now why my pdoc wanted me to take the Ativan regularly for a few days. He's smart. ;-)

I am trying to take a "one minute at a time" approach. I made my whole office laugh at staff meeting today. That made me smile.

My dad had a great way of looking at the whole thing. I didn't mess up; I didn't slip; I just made a visit to that old place. I confirmed that it sucked just as much as it always did, and that was that. Maybe a little too simplistic, but I have been beating myself up so much when I can think straight that I like his idea. Puts it in perspective.

Alright, going to sleep like a good girl now.

~Em

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earlier later

break this - Tuesday, Mar. 01, 2005

long time no post - Monday, Feb. 28, 2005

give me a little credit - Thursday, Nov. 18, 2004

blink-free - Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004

end of days - Thursday, Oct. 14, 2004

Clix me! (Pretty please?)